Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ask a Guy: Am I Being Needy?



I've been talking to this guy for a couple months now. When we 1st began talking, he was always the 1 to text me 1st and ask me to hangout.

Lately though, I always must text him 1st, and it takes him FOREVER to reply and from time to time he does not even reply at all unless I text him additional than as soon as.? I also have been getting to produce all of the effort to hangout and from time to time when we make plans to hangout, he'll just bag out last minute.

I know this makes it sound like he does not like me, but he keeps telling me that he does.? Also, when I do text him or when he texts me (very uncommon), he still calls me "babe" and stuff.

Am I becoming needy by texting him all of the time?? Need to I lay off and wait for him to produce additional effort?

The short answer is:? Yes, you happen to be acting needy.

I 1st covered this topic in "Decoding Male Behavior: A Guy's Take on Neediness," where I talked in-depth about how acting needy at the very begin in the relationship can drive guys away screaming.

The post turned out to become one of the most well-liked dating/relationship guidance posts I have written for the web-site to date.Occasion Dresses

However, based on a lot of the comments I really feel like there is still confusion regarding when a woman is acting "needy" and when she's not. So here is the guiding question in relation to neediness: Did he break a particular promise he created to you about a particular event at a particular time?prom dresses on sale

I am not talking about a guy saying, "Oh yeah, I'll text you back within an hour as long as I see it."? That is a generalized promise and most likely a "promise" a guy would make only immediately after a girl pressured him into saying it.cheap evening dresses

I'm talking about a particular promise:? "I will meet you here at such-and-such a time."? That is certainly a particular promise.

If a guy breaks a particular promise to you, then you've got every ideal to become upset.? Right after all, he said he was going to do some thing after which he did not.

But if you are obtaining all hung up mainly because a guy is not acting in some specific way and it really is creating you really feel insecure, nervous, or worried, that is completely neediness.

And it really is incredibly annoying to guys...; we can't stand it.? There is certainly absolutely nothing additional annoying than trying to go about our lives and do every little thing we choose to do, only to must drop every little thing and respond to a text message mainly because some girl we just began seeing desires attention and reassurance.

I realize that I sound a bit harsh here, but it really is the truth and I really feel like one of the most valuable factor I can do is be honest, even if that indicates becoming brazenly blunt.

In this circumstance, you are allowing him to act that way by accepting it.? It is unfortunate (and it applies to each guys and girls), but folks will only put as substantially value on you as you put on your self.? Should you accept becoming treated like an selection that will be discarded at the last minute, then that is how he (along with other guys) will treat you. Alternatively, in the event you preserve your life filled with solutions, you won't be so hung up on what he does.? (I go into great detail about this in the post "Ask a Guy: The Less I Care, The Extra He Seems To.")

Also, ensure you get on my dating guidance member list. I tell you exactly ways to realize guys so you by no means must deal with confusion, worries or heartbreak ever again (and yes, it really is cost-free just like the web-site). Sign up here now.

Now with regards to him calling you "babe" and saying he likes you-? 1st off, whatever you are carrying out to force him into reassuring you that he likes you...; stop carrying out it.? Guys get tired actually quickly of getting to reassure a girl that they truly like them.? Plus it makes us wonder what is wrong with you if it really is so hard for you to believe we like you!

I truly had to break the habit of calling girls pet-names like "babe" or issues related to that.? I'd say it as a habit and to show appreciation, but the girls normally misinterpreted it as me becoming actually into them, like they were my 1 and only unique an individual (meanwhile I had handfuls of girls I was calling "babe" and whatnot.)

My point is, it does not matter what pet-names he calls you or whether or not or not he says how much he likes you.? If you're smothering him with "needing" him to reassure you and text you back continuously, you will drive him away. The best move in this circumstance is always to back off, preserve your life filled with enjoyable and thrilling solutions and give him space to put in the effort and pursue you.? This is not becoming manipulative - guys truly like to pursue girls (to a point) and we appreciate getting the space to do so (and not becoming smothered).

If you do this, you will have substantially greater luck, I'm positive of it.

Hope it helps.

- eric charles

P.S. Got a burning dating or relationship question? Click here and get your question answered NOW.



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